Personally, I'd Rather Lick Sand: A Modern Pride and Prejudice Variation Romantic Comedy by Ari Rhoge & a Lady

Author:Ari Rhoge & a Lady [Rhoge, Ari]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
Publisher: HANNA HOUSE PUBLISHING LTD
Published: 2017-09-07T22:00:00+00:00

16

—

Oh, and Time's a Loaded Gun

Richard Fitzwilliam was a man with an expert sense of planning. You couldn't exactly guess this from first impression. After all, he was a gentleman who barely remembered to tuck in his shirt on most occasions. He was partial to spontaneous outbursts, and impulsive getaway trips to Las Vegas in the middle of tax season. But in the case of Lizzy Bennet — the spry Philadelphian his cousin had been acting so strangely in front of — one could rest assured that something was safely tucked up his sleeve.

And Darcy knew it.

“You never said you were going to invite her,” he argued, quietly, folding his arms across his chest as they waited at the floor's lobby by the elevators. Rich regarded him coolly, beamed, and didn't say anything. He had practically ambushed Will's room at 7:30 that morning, yanked the curtains open so that sunlight temporarily blinded him, and forced him out of bed with a swift bombardment of pillows he had possibly mistaken for ammo. By all intents and purposes, Richard Fitzwilliam was pretty much the snotty brother Will Darcy never had. He was almost thankful his parents hadn't had the opportunity to procreate after Georgy was born.

Richard Fitzwilliam had also conveniently avoided mentioning that he planned to include Elizabeth Bennet in the day's activities. He led Darcy to believe that he had pressed the 'L' button in the elevator — when it released a ping! at the seventh floor instead, Rich had darted out into the hallway before Darcy could even register his surroundings. The rest, of course, could easily be figured out. Maybe not the fact that the girl herself would stumble out of her bed and greet them without pants, but her mortification was actually kind of endearing. In an incredibly bizarre way.

“What I don't understand,” Rich started, smoothly. “Is why you're so pissy about including Lizzy. She's a pretty great girl. A little rough around the edges, and a bit blunt, but that's kind of what I like about her. Plus, she insults you a lot. It makes me giggle.”

“I'm trying to find a more original way of telling you that I hate you.”

“How's that working out for you?”

“Not very well,” Darcy muttered.

“Listen, if you're so dead stubborn about this situation, you can stay in your room and watch infomercials all day,” Rich suggested, cheerfully. “I honestly couldn't give a damn, Will. Lizzy and I get along pretty well — I could show her around. We'd have a wonderful time.”

There was a lengthy pause, then a curt reply — “fine. That's fine.”

His cousin smiled slowly. “It doesn't bother you at all that I'd be alone with her…”

“Why would it bother me?” asked Darcy, positively aloof.

“See, the thing about these girls from out of town,” baited Rich, brushing imaginary lint off his shirt. “They're so easy to take under your wing, you know? Maybe I'd even ask her out to dinner. I think she likes me — what do you think? I think I'm a pretty attractive, sharp-minded guy.

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